When you bring up the idea of drinking in Chelsea, a couple of thoughts are likely to run through the minds of most Londoners, and indeed many others who don’t call the Capital their home. Either, this will involve large groups of bullet-headed Chelsea fans gathering outside of the pubs around Fulham Broadway, singing loudly and necking pints of Stella Artois before going off to hurl abuse at teenage millionaires, or, it will be an ambiance-filled bistro full of flawless model-types who drive Ferraris and sip New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc or overpriced champagne, while your pint costs £7.50. Quite the dichotomy, eh?
And while these two things definitely exist, they are easily avoided and actually Chelsea is home to a number of excellent pubs that are both beautiful to look at, and they also happen to serve some wonderful pints. In order to get to these, and to the start of this pub crawl, you’re going to need to find your way to the District Line and head for Sloane Square.
The Start Line
When you step out of the station you’ll be able to enjoy the view of the old Square itself. Sitting at the un-patrolled borders of Chelsea and Belgravia, this rare bit of open and still common space has been there since 1771 and was designed by Henry Holland Snr, and was named after the Anglo-Irish doctor Sir Hans Sloane who once owned the land.
At the far end, you’ll see the monolithic Peter Jones building which is now part of the John Lewis chain. To your right, you’ll see the artistically decorated Royal Court Theatre, home to the English Stage Company. But really though, what you’ll see is money. Lots of it. Walking down the streets in their Gucci boots, or driving its fleet of Porsches, money calls this part of London home. And coming to gawk at the wealth are an abundance of tourists who want to see the London of Mary Poppins and all of those old comedy pictures where people say “gosh” while drinking tea can be satisfying in its own right. However, we are here to see the real Chelsea that exists a street or two back from the madding crowd.
Like any major thoroughfare or attraction in London, get a street or two away and the tourists will have melted into non-existence and you’ll be strolling among the natives. You’re going to want to take a very sharp left as you look out of the station and head down Holbein Place, before turning down Graham Terrace. It shouldn’t take you more than three minutes to reach Pub No.1.
Pub 1 – The Fox & Hounds
Cramped, small, and hot, but, and bear with me here, in a good way. This is what many a Londoner would describe (if they spoke like they were in a Guy Ritchie film) as a proper boozer. Yes, it’s in Chelsea, so it’s plenty posh, but it’s also honest, and it has a fair bit of history to it as well, having been around since 1860. It’s a Youngs pub (many on this crawl are, given the proximity to the brewery) and the ales are kept very well. In fact, right up until 1996, this was an ales only pub.
On a summer’s evening, it’s quite usual to line the pavement outside the pub with drink in hand to escape the heat of the bar and it really is a place where you’ll meet all sorts. If ever you could drink in a pub with a chimney sweep and a person who still employs chimney sweeps in 21st century Chelsea, this is the place. Friendly, familiar and while it’s a tiny place, it’s just a very decent spot to enjoy a drink.
Pub 2 – The Rose & Crown
Make your way along to the corner Turk’s Row and Lower Sloane St (the A3216) and you’ll find the Rose & Crown. This is where the locals drink and has such facilities as a pool table and fruit machines (rare things indeed in this part of the world). It also has some exterior seating on the main road so you can watch Chelsea go by if you’re early enough to get one of those coveted seats.
I won’t say it’s more “real” as that’s such a crap way of describing anything, but it’s honest and unassuming. For the more prim, it may seem a little rough, but I’ve never known anything other than friendly clientele and staff there so it’s worth a stop. Besides, it’ll be good to get you grounded – we’re heading into the really posh bit next…
Pub 3 – The Phoenix
Head down Turk’s Row, and over the top of Burton Court (the tennis and cricket fields) to get to this next pub. But before you take the turning on to Smith St, be sure to look out for a Blue Plaque on the wall of a house on St Leonard’s Terrace. This is where the writer Bram Stoker, author of Dracula, lived (or, perhaps, un-lived…).
And speaking of blood-sucking, the Phoenix is not cheap. On their bar snacks menu, it’ll cost you over £7.00 for some fish flavoured popcorn (not even joking) and the pints can be dear too, especially if you’re drinking the quality beers. But this is a pub to really look at. The interior decoration is quirky and filled with exotic bird pictures and strange objets. But it’s outside that’s the real winner here. Some of the prettiest streets in London lead off Smith St, and you’ll be able to stare longingly down them as you sit on the narrow patio outside the pub. It’s quite quiet for the area (the road, not the pub, which is usually busy), full of flowers, trees and beautiful, classic architecture. Have a couple here (if you can afford it) and enjoy the view.
Pub 4 – The Surprise
As you stroll down the awfully suburban feeling Christchurch St, it does indeed feel like a surprising place to find a pub. The Surprise is in fact named after the HMS Surprise and it’s well worth googling the ship’s history for some good yarns. This is one that only the locals really know about, and there are usually a few good ales on offer here. And if you can get a spot on one of the benches outside, this can be a very nice place indeed to spend an afternoon.
Again, like the Phoenix, it’s not cheap. But it is more friendly and welcoming than the Phoneix and it doesn’t have nearly as much pretension about it, though it does seem to be trying to become more of a restaurant these days, so enjoy it as a pub while you still can.
Pub 5 – The Cooper’s Arms
If the last two pubs made you feel too short for Dick and too tall for Richard, this pub will get you set right again. It’s very pretty, and it’s claim to fame is the enormous moose’s head mounted on the wall that has been there for generations, but it’s a far more honest pub than the last two. It has a small garden, and is delightfully decorated. And the folks who drink here probably couldn’t care less about how much money you have in your bank account (as long as you can cover your round of course).
The staff can be a bit scatty, but that’s nothing to be too concerned about, and the beers are all decent enough, while being relatively fairly priced for Chelsea (which still makes them pricier than everywhere else of course). Not a bad place to stop for a couple.
Pub 6 – The Phene
I hope you’re dressed well and not slurring your words too much. There’ll be a bouncer here because this is where Chelsea’s social elite come to drink. Models, actresses, women married to professional footballers… It’s a bit well to do, and to be honest, as a personal choice, I’d stop at the Cooper’s but I couldn’t really leave this place off. And I call it a “place” rather than a “pub” because the clientele would probably consider such a description to be quite ghastly.
If you can get in, the beers are pricey, but the garden is lovely. And yes, you might see a supermodel or celebrity there. It’s very well appointed and the beers arekept relatively well, though not as well as some of the finer beverages. The champagne, I hear, is rather well preserved in this spot.
Food Options:
Posh food is best sought at the Surprise or the Phoenix. However, the best food in the whole area is a stone’s throw from the Cooper’s Arms and is called La Delizia – some of the best pizza you’ll ever eat in London and it’s very well priced too. They usually keep a very nice bottle of Limoncello there as well for the more discerning customer.
Off You Go Then
If you’re in London and you want to explore a historic area like Chelsea, this is a great little route with a very differing array of pubs. It’ll take you past the Saatchi gallery, within sight of the Army Hospital at Chelsea, and if you ever feel the need to go shopping, the King’s Road runs pretty much parallel to the whole route. And on a sunny afternoon in London, there aren’t many prettier places to go for a walk. I hope you get to enjoy this one soon. Cheers!
Ye Olde Pub Painter 